People who find relationships difficult value marriage most
December 24 2003 - A recent University of Florida study found that
the most positive attitudes about the value of marriage and the importance of families
are found among groups that experience the greatest difficulty forming and maintaining
healthy family relationships.
People from low-income households, who have the highest rates of
cohabitation, premarital pregnancy and having never been married, express the strongest
support for marriage and families, including the idea of abstinence before marriage, said
Ben Karney, a UF psychology professor who led the research.
"People seem to care deeply about family and marriage, but it turns out
that a positive attitude towards marriage and stable families is not sufficient to bring
about healthy, stable family relationships," he said.
Despite the widely diverse characteristics of the average Florida family,
most Floridians agree on these important key points:
- A happy, healthy marriage is one of the most important things in life (92%)
- Children do better when their parents are married (80%)
- That government programs to strengthen families and reduce divorce are a
good or very good idea (67%)
"The intent of this survey was to establish baseline information about the
structure of Florida's families, what they think about family issues and to identify what
factors affect strong, healthy families," said Department of Children & Families Secretary
Jerry Regier. "We will use this survey as one of the many tools in our efforts, including
working with local communities and private organizations, to strengthen Florida's families
on a variety of fronts. This is a dynamic process and we still have much work to do,"
"Maintaining a healthy marriage is challenging. Divorce and unmarried
birth rates in Florida are very high," said Regier. "There is nothing more important than
strengthening Florida's families, and while no single survey answers every question, this
is a useful tool that will provide a resource for further analysis," Regier added.
Said Karney: "People who are unmarried do not value marriage any less than
people who are married, especially among the state's low income population. Rather they
face real concrete obstacles that constrain their choices."
According to Karney, the subject of these constraints came up again and
again in the survey. Couples that had less-satisfying relationships were more likely to be
experiencing a constellation of difficult events in their lives, such as greater financial strains,
problems with substance abuse and mental health concerns, he said.
80% of Florida residents in the survey said they had been married, and
almost two-thirds (65%) of unmarried people expressed a desire to be married, Kearney said.
"When we asked unmarried people 'Why are you not married?,' one of the
most frequent answers to that question was 'Because I'm afraid if I married my current
partner it would end in divorce.' In other words, it is a fear of divorce, not a fear of
marriage, that factors into some people's decision to remain unmarried," he said.
Unmarried people in low income households were more likely than those in
high-income households to say that they couldn't afford to marry, they worried about
domestic violence or were concerned about a partner's substance abuse problem, he said.
Perhaps not surprisingly, the University of Florida study found that couples whose household income is higher are
happier in their relationships, Karney said. The study also found that people in the most
satisfying relationships spend an average of 22 additional waking hours per week in each
other's presence, he said. Together, these results suggest that one reason partners in
low-income households are less satisfied is that they may have less time for each other,
"All the things that make relationships fulfilling and healthy, such as
communication and sharing intimacy, take time and energy," Karney said. "So anything that
takes time away from the relationship or drains the amount of energy one has to devote to
the relationship is likely to make the relationship harder."
The study not only raises questions about patterns that take place within
families, but how families interact with their environment, he said.
"One implication of these results is that if we want to help people's
families and their relationships, we're going to have to take their entire lives into
account," he said.
"You can offer people relationship skills training, but you have to make
sure there is time in their lives to practice the skills that they've been trained to do,"
he said. "Otherwise, you're giving people piano lessons without a piano."
The statewide telephone survey, which was conducted between July and
November with a $157,000 grant from the state Department of Children and Families, was
designed to assist state officials in designing future programs to support families in
Florida. Participants in the 20-minute interviews were selected from random digit dialing.